One of the biggest issues that I see you guys is the issue of being too shy. Being shy holds you back from asking questions, learning more, expanding your circle It basically limits the way that you live your life right. So how to stop being shy?
Things that you can start doing right now to push through that shyness to be more confident and make more friends.
1. LIST DOWN YOUR FEARS
The first thing that you need to do is list down all the social situations where you feel most anxious, and then go out there and conquer them one by one. You need to know what you're dealing with before you tackle it, right so take a second to list down the situations that are scary, maybe it's talking to a girl at the bar, maybe it's going out to parties or it could be public speaking. You need to know what makes you shine, what makes you anxious, then after you have that list you're gonna start practicing and getting better at each and every item on that list.
If it's public speaking then start with a small number of friends, get used to speaking in front of them loud and clear then move on to a larger number of people. Maybe a mix of friends and other people that you don't know and so on and so forth until you are a pro, do that until you conquer the fear, you know, and go through your list until you are no longer scared of those situations.
2. MAKE EYE CONTACT
Next, you need to
make eye contact with everyone that you talk to. If you're talking to someone and their eyes are down, you know what I mean they're on the floor, then you immediately know that that person is either shy or sad or just not that interested in what you have to say either way. It's not a good sign it is bad body language, most shy people tend to look down or away instead of looking at people's eyes. You need to overcome that fear as soon as possible, try looking at people's eyes when you're having a conversation with them, when you're shaking their hands it is the right thing to do. It makes people feel like you're giving them attention and that is HUGE it makes them feel great. The challenge I'm going to give you here is to look at that person's eyes just a little bit longer than you would normally hold that gaze. Alright just a second longer it's gonna feel like an hour, it's gonna feel weird at first but after a few tries it'll feel normal you're gonna get used to it and you finally let go of that fear of making eye contact guys.
A bonus here is to try and have a smile on your face when you're talking to people even if just a little smirk. You know just pull your lips a little bit to go from a moody sad look to a positive much more approachable look.
3. ARM YOURSELF W/INFORMATION
Number three learn as much as possible, invest in yourself so that you're armed with information every time. You talk to someone the more you know about a specific subject the more you can talk about it without feeling shy without feeling nervous. If you know everything about computers, and people are talking about computers you can join in that conversation proudly and give your input without being scared or anxious because you know those topics also. Never stop learning about yourselves all right it is in our nature to want to improve to want to become a better man you need to focus on yourself and work hard so that you can get the results. That you're looking for whether it's the financial freedom the girl of your dreams the perfect job that you can you know even working hard to get or even the dream house you've always wanted guys.
4. BODY LANGUAGE
Number four works on building a confident body language. Make contact when you talk to someone who doesn't do any eye rolls. That's a walk with your head held high shoulders back for a much more confident look. Alright if you're slouched over that immediately looks like you're shot, people can see that you're shot before they even talk to you. Body language is so important guys and even if you are shy even if you're feeling a little anxious a little nervous walk in there maybe do a little one of these. All right let's do this and go into this party, going to this bar going to this presentation that you have to give to your college class with your head held high. Show them or at least fake it until you make it that you're not shy show them that you're confident. It is so clear to me that a person is shy when I shake their hands. For example right if you shake a guy's hand and he's like this not even really looking at you, not looking at you in the eyes shoulders are kind of in that person's shot. You know and it's not a bad thing but it's like it's fine, like you were just meeting new people just you meet confidence to be okay with it you don't have to be super outgoing and loud and obnoxious that's not what we're trying to do here we're just trying to make sure that you're not limiting yourself by being too shot.
5. BE PRESENT
Next on the list is be present, you have to be present in order to not be shy alright because when you're shy what ends up happening is you kind of block yourself from what's happening. You kind of you standing in the back of a party, you're standing in the corner of a bar you're not projecting your voice when you were doing any type of public speaking. So that is not good you have to be present, you have to let people know that you're there otherwise you're just invisible you're just in the back, and we don't want that. We want you to be visible, we want you to stand out in a crowd instead of blending in pay close attention around you. Be present to all your thoughts you know your feelings if you're feeling a little bit shy, then get out of that feeling. You know that negative shyness feeling goes up there and try your best to make new friends, and trust me guys just by you understanding that you're shy just being honest with yourself hey I'm a little bit anxious, not feeling very good but I'm gonna breakthrough I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna meet new people go and do it and you're gonna feel so much better and you're gonna be proud of yourself.
6. TRY NEW THINGS
Next is so important guys you have to try
new things even if they make you anxious, and actually especially if they make you anxious there's something to get out of your comfort zone at that little box that you've created that little safe space. You know to join a club, a sports team, join an acting class or a dancing class or piano anything that you think would just make you feel a little bit less anxious, that would teach you some skills that you may be nervous about in the beginning but then you're proud of having what would you like to learn, what would you be interested in doing. If somebody invites you to a party and you're like a man there's a lot of people, there I don't know all these people are just gonna be that girl that I like from school, and you say no you're missing out on an amazing a huge opportunity to meet new people and make new friends and break out of that comfort zone. So yes you're gonna be anxious you're gonna be a little bit scared but you have to fight through it that is how you win this game and that's how you can finally stop letting go of that anxiousness and feeling way less shy and way more outgoing. Make new friends and so much more.
7. BE MORE ENGAGING
you have to engage more a lot of times when you go out. You know when you feel like that invisibility right you feel like you're just the back and you're like you know I'm safe right here there are all these people around me I'm out I made it out but I'm safe in this little corner over here I don't really want to talk to anyone but people will know that I was at the party, that is not good you have to engage. I know some people don't like small talk but go over there and start with small talk and then as soon as you get to know the person talk about it what kind of hobbies are you in oh you like playing tennis oh me too or oh you know my dad's a pro or whatever talk about it. The more you know about a person the less you're talking about the small stuff, and you're getting in deeper and deeper and by learning about communication by understanding how to communicate with others. Understanding interaction, human interaction, and how every interaction is a negotiation. You will see you completely change the way that you talk to people, you change the way that you see yourself, change the way that you see others and that is why it is one of the three pillars of impacts communication.
8. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP
Next up is do not beat yourself up, this is extremely important. So many guys who are shy or like I'm just not good enough like I'm just shy I don't really know how to talk to people I'm gonna be in the back or I'm gonna stay home that's not good, guys if you're shy it's totally fine it is just part of your personality it is part of who you are, you have to be proud of yourself. you know you have to go out there and talk to people so don't beat yourself up to don't be negative try to engage in a positive mindset, try to talk to people and that will completely change the way that you see yourself because if you're looking in the mirror and you're thinking negatively about yourself that's the worst thing that you can do that is when you stay back while everyone else moves forward so don't beat yourself up it's totally fine to take your time but learn as you go.
Comments
Post a Comment
Please share your suggestions.